January 1, the rest of life

The fireworks were distant last night, and the celebratory cheers were muffled by the Tule fog and the Fresno gestapo PD--but, still, midnight came, and with a toast of Moet Chandon, and poor Dick Clark on television (please, stop rolling him out and making his suffering a public spectacle)- and, it was quiet and warm in my house. We toasted the new year, each other, the cats, and then hobbled off to bed--looking to wake up in 2009, and wondering, hoping, that things would be different this morning. There are signs of hope--and, I will cling to the signs--despite the army mounting to discourage and take it away; I choose to hope.
I am hopeful about my city, Fresno. With a new mayor, some new council members and a new downtown Czar and team, there is some hope that some of the old forces of influence may be losing their grip. The pseudo-"christian" voices of Fresno have damaged enough lives, insulted neighborhoods, run rough-shod over ethnic voices, and disenfranchised more than any atheist tyrant could ever possibly do--all in the name of god, (or, the "no-name")--
While their sexual harassment, misogynism, homophobia, racism and entitlement attitudes go unchecked by the press and the church, my hope is that the new mayor will abandon their causes and be deaf to their influence. With the fall of some of their organizations, I have hope that more rational thinking will prevail, and the "faith-based" charade for grant $ has run it's divisive course. The great tragedy was that good people were caught up in the torrent, and well-meaning people have been damaged and become disenchanted. Move over, and move on.
I am hopeful for the country. The election of the first African-American president in my lifetime. When I think about the fact that I attended segregated schools up until the 4th grade, and I still remember "colored" restrooms, water fountains, restaurants and even divided sidewalks; I am hopeful that President Obama will help to escort in a new era of reconciliation. With foreclosed houses all around my neighborhood, and more and more homeless people scavaging my garbage cans and trash, and with clinics and social services being shuttered, I choose to believe that a change in Washington may also indicate some change on Divisadero Street. I'm not naive, and I've lived long enough to know that the President can't change everything, but, I also remember hearing President Kennedy when I was in the second grade-=-and, I saw how the adults reacted to his call for service--and, I stood with hundreds of VISTA and Americorps volunteers as we were commissioned by President Clinton--I know what vision can do: and I know that when a leader articulates vision and hope, people ARE different.
I have hope that the Church will move more toward the 2 great commissions, and begin to look externally and be less self-centered, and remove the mirrors, in favor of windows.
I have hope that I can finally write the book that is in my head. I want to write the book that will impact people's lives, not just sell books. I want to write the words that my heart seems to scream, but, I cannot say. I want to tell the truth. I want to write a hopeful book, a book that will bring change, and a book that is necessary.
I want to change some things in my life:
less clutter
reconciliation
focus
consequential involvement
deepened spirituality without sacrificing practicality
more diverse friendships
stewardship of time and resources
and, yeah, I want to attract more birds to my backyard--
I want to finish the barn...and not go deeply into debt doing it..
I want to deepen my relationships with my cousins and their families
I want to ride my bike in the sunshine more often
plant a mandarin orange tree...
I want to invite people to speak into my life..and listen...and act.
I want to give away more.
I want to be kind.

So, it's January 1, the rest of my life.